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This is just a short story, enjoy!

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I wasn't afraid and I knew it. I couldn't understand why it always ended up like this. Always ended up with me in the dark cold, alone, lost, lifeless. Somehow I always made it out of there, relatively unscathed, physically atleast.

But mentally I was scarred, the scars embedded so deep inside of me that there was no way they would ever fade away. The memories of those days, those horrid days, hound me even today. Though I know I'm far from there, safe and cozy (once again, physically), the nightmares never fail to visit. I repeatedly beg them to go away, to leave me alone, yes, I wanted to be alone.

The pain of living even after he didn't, the excruciating piercing pain of the invisible knife repeatedly stabbing my heart, was slowly turning into numbness. I was growing immune to the stabbing, but not to the pain, the pain never left me.

I thought of those carefree days of my life. The days where he was around, to lift up my spirits, to guard me from all evils, protecting me in those strong, warm hands of his...those days were over. Now came the days when I had to fight with nature to kill myself, to end this horrid torture called life.

Everybody said I would get over it and I tried to believe them, but deep down I knew that nothing would ever be the same. I would never be alright again. Running away from home was an option, but I had no home.

Four years ago from this date I was just another sixteen year old in the orphanage. He, strong and handsome, at the age of seventeen had visited for a school project. We became friends and soon much much beyond that. He rescued me from there and promised a lifetime together, till eternity.

But promises are never kept...don't take me wrong, he tried his level best, but one evening, when the gray clouds engulfed the clouds, an omen perhaps. Just like in any movies the gang of villains came to attack us. But unlike any movie, the villains emerged victorious. My brave hero fought till his last breath, injured as many as he could.

The evil tried to kill me, but they didn't succeed. I wish they had, then he and I would still be together. I escaped, unscathed. I fought against my own life for three whole years trying to find a loophole in nature which would make my work so much easier. But, alas. Nature defied me, death defied me.

But today I'm prepared. I have been planning for a while, to end it, for once and for all. I looked down the cliff and saw a long stretch of nothing. I walked to the edge, opened my arms wide and smiled.

Bending down slightly, I took a leap. The wind was soaring in my face, what a marvellous feeling! This is how flying must feel. I couldn't enjoy the pleasurable feeling for long because I crashed. Usually a person would weep because of the pain, but I'm not just another person.

I felt myself rolling in a crippled position, unable to move. My smile turned even more wide. During the last few moments of my life I decided to think about all the beautiful memories with him: our first meeting, our first date, our confession, our first kiss, our plans for the future. I felt my breath rate going slower and I knew what my last thought would be. The reponse to his last words I will wait.

"I'm here," I said, breathing my last.

I opened my eyes in heaven and saw him. I ran into his arms felt them snake around me protectively. I hid my face in his naked chest. Yes, I was home.


That was pretty heavy stuff wasn't it?? Anyways I hope you all liked it!
Comments/criticisim always welcome!!!

Nidheya

My Best Friend

Hello one and all,

I'm back quite soon this time!! Thanks for all your positive response!! Here is my next piece:-

My Best Friend

While filling slambooks in school I come across a very frequent question. "Who are your best friends?" Without thinking I jot down the name of my four aka Himangi, Asma, Hana and Divya. But something got me thinking. Especially since yesterday, when I realised she is my biggest fan. The way she encouraged my writing, the way she sent an e-mail to practically everyone on her list asking them to read I Promise. I didn't know she was so proud of me, she isn't much of an expressive person you know.

I love my mother so much more after this incident. For the first time in her life she praised me endlessly, told me how proud she is of me. These words of hers were enough to make my day, night, week, month...and heck yeah, my whole life!!

She has been the only person on this earth I can trust without a second thought. She has been with me throughout all my trials and tribulations, supported me when I was down. She never let me be in the dark. Her words of encouragement, of praise, of love made sure that I was happy all the time. Thank you Amma, I love you so much.

Amma is the only person in this entire universe who never let me be alone. All four of my friends have done that at some point of time, but Amma, never. She has sacrificed anything and everything at the cost of my happiness. Sure she grumbles once in a while, but she is always there, smiling kindly at me, telling me how proud she is of me.

I love you so much Amma. Here I am proclaiming my love for you on the world wide web. I might say spiteful things at time, but the guilt always gnaws upon me. I can't stand it if you are hurt. You have done so much for me, maybe this is nothing in return, but it is something, atleast.

You have always stayed on the ground, supported my dreams, sometimes sacrificing your own. Now, I want you to fly, fly up in the air, feeling the cool air gush against your face, feel the wind blow through your hair, giving you the ultimate pleasure. Yes Amma, I have also flown, it is a marvellous sensation and you deserve it more than I do.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you!! I'm always going to love you and everytime someone asks me whether I'm Veena's daughter, I will hold my head high and proudly say "Yes"!

And of course, next time someone gives me their slambook to fill and I come across the "Who is your best friend" question, I will first jot down your name and then the others!

LOVE YOU!

Hope you all liked it, this came from the heart...

Nidheya

I promise

Hey blog-buddies,
On Thursday aka the 19th of November, 2009 while returning home from a tiring day at school I came face-to-face with a sad and devastating sight. The sight was sad, terrifying and plain upsetting.

Before I reveal to you what the sight was, let me tell you how my daily routine is between the time my school gets over and the time I reach home.

After the school bell rings at 2:10 p.m., I hurry up the stairs and into the classroom of my best friend Asma. From there we come down to the first floor where we are joined by a common friend Faria. The three of us head down and after a zillion goodbyes, we part our ways.

On the way home I cross the stinky nala, the crowded "auto-stand" and finally make my way to the open street where I have to cross the road. It takes me a really long while to actually to finally cross the road due to the overwhelming traffic, so, I'm usually in a terrible, "don't-bug-me" mood by the time I do cross.

After crossing the road I take a left turn and head down the street to the last apartment in the lane. One the way I encounter two stinky G.H.M.C. trash bins, a few well-fed cows and a few bickering dogs. The dogs are usually bickering near the first set of trash bins and I always try to avoid them and hurry home.

But on that day, I encountered something different, something that made me stop and think. I glanced sideways at the trash bin and saw a poor old, messed up begger. Beggers aren't an unusual sight in Hyderabad, but what I saw this poor begger do was shocking. He had digged out a frooti can (if you can call it that :]) and was trying to sip out the remnants from it. This sight devastated me.

After that the poor chap digged at the other trash bin in the same set looking for something to eat. After a long pause I continued home, my heart heavy.

What I had seen had shocked me out of my wits. I always knew poverty existed in the world, but I didn't know the extent of it. I didn't know that people had struggle so much to get a sip of wasted frooti.

I knew this wasn't anything, compared to the poverty faced by countries like Ethopia, Ghana, and any other African countries (excluding South Africa and Egypt, perhaps).

With this post I would like to make the pledge that I will do my best to help others. I will never waste my food or drinks. I will try my best and do all that is my control to help the poor and needy. I will get more involved in the world affairs, by which I mean the real world and not just what I call my world.

I hope all of you will take this pledge too and promise to bring about some change in the world.

Till next week,

Sayonara and goodbye,

Nidheya

My Gang of Girls

Hello my blog buddies,

Inspired by Priyanka Chopra's article for the Hindustan Times "Celebrate Your Gang of Girls" (link given at the bottom), here is my article or blogory about my gang of girls.

In my gang of girls there are five of us, Himangi, Asma, Hana, Divya, and myself. I have known Himangi and Divya for five years while I have known Asma and Hana for three years. Himangi has been my best friend for five years while the other three have been my best friends for the past three years.

Whenever I'm sad or happy, excited or nervous, they are the first ones I inform. Whether it is a two hour long phone call or a two word SMS, I make sure I inform them. When I knew I was returning to India after a year long stay in the United States, I was pretty upset, but wanted to let them knew. They deserved to after all.

Their reactions were different but the main thing was they all were happy. I wish I had been feeling the same at that moment but I was too busy sulking over changing countries every single years to notice. But the prospect of meeting my four and living in the same city as them once again was truly exciting. I mean c'mon, it was after such a long time!! Their absence in my life had made me extremely depressed and when I knew I would be seeing them in less than a month:- AMAZING!

The weird thing about my gang of girls is that they are actually my gang. It is not like we are some offical group of girls who go around. These four girls are not on very cordial relationships, but to me they are the world. Except for Asma and Hana the rest are hardly friends. Of course, they are my best friends, but outside that they have a different bunch of friends.

These are the girls with whom I have been able to connect with at an emotional level, which is extremely important to me. Sometimes I feel that the reason why I love them so much is because I chose to. The relationship I share with these girls are not bestowed upon my relation or force, rather by my very own choice. I chose these four as my best friends, I chose to love them, I chose them as my sisters. Do I need to mention any more reasons?

They make me laugh hysterically, and also lend me their warm shoulders and expertise advice when I need it. They don't let me down no matter what. They are there for me, I'm there for them, quite simple actually.

I love them all the same, but yet they are special to me for different reasons, and those reasons I shall reveal...only partially though:-

1. Himangi:- Himangi was the first one I befriended among the four...wait that was Divya, but actually she is the first one I became close to. Himangi is someone I hit off immediately with. She is so much like me and we have so much in common like the love for reading, the subject of English, Harry Potter, our hatred for totally feminine people, etc. Both of us were ambitious and work hard for a strong future. Each time I get together with Himangi I have the time of my life, especially looking through weird Harry Potter videos or recollecting hilarious memories. I love this girl, she is so very loyal and an amazing friend!

2. Hana:- Hana has already been mentioned in this blog, I think twice, previously. As I stated both those times, she was and is still like a twin sister to me. She is so much like me, rebellious, talkative, so much in depth as a person, etc etc. She is the one among my friends to whom I can cry on on the phone without any worry. In fact, I already have.

3. Asma:- Asma is the funniest person alive. She is a very caring friend. She is fun to be around and wont rest until she turns your frown upside down. She is quite a tempermental person too, though she is otherwise around her friends. She makes me laugh-till-I-die almost every day with her silly antics at home like "breaking her computer" and other blah-blahs.

4. Divya:- Divya is the first one I met among my gang of girls. Though we weren't close at the beginning, or even friends for that matter, a year or two later we became extremely close and soon enough: best friends. Divya is also a lot like Asma, with her funny antics and laugh-out-loud jokes. She is really a pick-me-up, atleast for me. She gives out great advice too, something you probably wouldn't expect from her when you first meet her.

When they hurt me, unintentionally or intentionally, I forgive them after that short/long period of fuming fury. After all they are my friends and that is reason enough for me.

That's all for now guys! Sorry for updating after so long! I was just randomly thinking and decided that it has been a while since I updated H!Nl and it was high time I did so, so I did. This time I decided to write about the four people who give meaning to my life, myself, and everything else around me. I will try to update as often as every Saturday, but I said I will try because I do have a tight schedule and I have to set up meeting dates with Himangi and Divya since they don't go to my school anymore...I miss them so much to the point that it hurts!!

By the way Happy Children's Day to One and All of You Out There!

Anyways, I hope you guys liked this one and waiting to hear your feedback,

Love,
Nidheya

LINKS:-
1. Priyanka Chopra's Hindustan Times Article "Celebrate Your Gang of Girls":- http://www.desimartini.com/DM/ht-city/celebrity/Priyanka%20Chopra-/Celebrate-your-gang-of-girls/14367-7873996-0-108.htm

Long time no blog

Hey guys!

Nidheya here!

You knew that anyways!

I have a couple of websites of my own which you can follow if you want to!!

1. MySpace: www.myspace.com/nidheyasuresh
2. Twitter: www.twitter.com/NidheyaSuresh

That's all!!

So has anyone been missing my blogs?? Too much to ask for huh??

I just finished re-reading Breaking Dawn! I also finished reading- Twilight Director's Notebook!

Spring Break!!! Awesome time in Palm Springs! Wohoo!!!!!

My fave Twilight character- Alice Cullen!!!

I love blogging and writing!

Anyways that's pretty much!

P.S. I AM updating my blog! Will see you soon!!

Nidheya

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!

Hey you guys! Hope you all had an amazing Christmas! I know I had one! I got an iPod Nano! Fantabulous naa? Yep! I cant wait to download songs onto it! Thats all anyways!

MERRY X'MAS AND WELL HAPPY SHOPPING!!

Nidheya

I dream snowww!

OMG! I seriously want it snow here in Artesia. I SO WANT IT TO! Last night I dream that I was sitting in History class and it started snowing outside. The minute it started snowing in my dream all my classmates ran outside saying "YAY! Snow! Let's play!!!" My whole class ran outside. My friend asked "Hey Nidheya why aren't you coming? I thought you wanted it to snow here???". And I was lik "Amy! Be real! This is a dream! It is not true". Amy was like "So what? You still get to play! That's all matters". I was like "Huh??". She told "When you wake up there wont be any snow in Artesia, but right now in your dream, there is. So now let's enjoy!" So I went outside and played in my "dreamery" snow! It was amazing!!!!

THATS HOW MUCH I WANT IT SNOW!!! PLEASE MAKE IT SNOW HERE IN ARTESIA GOD!

Nidheya Suresh